I spent most of my childhood in central Florida and most of my adult life in Yankee territory. My neighbors have varied in culture, socioeconomic status, race, age, and religious affiliation. I’m grateful for their stories, the memories, and lessons along the way.
I learned that some neighbors will play soccer with you ALL.DAY.LONG. Some invite you over for sleepovers. Some have dogs that will hump your leg.
Some let you play their Nintendo games with such intensity that you forget the clock. Some are paranoid gun-owners with shifty eyes.
Some accidentally crash their car into your parked car when alcohol is driving. Some quietly watch from their windows while your dad screams in agony after a painful fall from a truck ramp.
Some join you on spying adventures. Some make you laugh so hard you wet your pants. Some speak English as their second language.
Some sheepishly give out canned baked beans at Halloween because they forgot to buy candy. Some steal your vine-ripened cherry tomatoes only to waste them on passing cars and bike tires.
Some live above you and snore. Some host loud weekend parties that last until 3 AM. Some are so kind and hilarious and present on the dark days that you want to be neighbors FOREVER.
Some show up at your front door with fresh blue crabs from the Bay. Some offer cookies and hugs and tender moments of shared grief.
Some pull out your gorgeous, took-you-forever-to-grow Gerber daisies and you want to smack those devilish hands but they’re children, after all. (Did they have to take ALL of them, though? I mean, really.)
Some knock on your door in need of money, a ride, an egg, a cup of sugar. Some help you load your sad Penske truck, their vision–and yours–blurred by tears and you wonder if you’ll ever recover from those painful goodbyes.
Some neighbors become lifelong friends. Others–just for a season.
To better understand what Jesus meant when He told His followers, “Love your neighbor as yourself”, I’ve put a stake in Luke 10:25-37, where we’ll camp out for the LYN series. In this post–and the next two–I hope to bring a little more clarity to this simple command.
In this particular text, we read about a lawyer–let’s call him ‘Lawyer’–who asks Jesus what he must do to inherit eternal life. As a justice meter and legal expert, Lawyer relies on his knowledge of the rules to challenge Teacher. Seeing Lawyer’s deeper motive, Jesus responds to the brilliant, proud academic, “What is written in the law? How does it read to you?” Lawyer answers by perfectly quoting the Torah: “YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.”
Jesus affirms his answer.
But the dissatisfied Lawyer continues, “And who is my neighbor?” Master of every jot and tittle, skilled in detailed contracts, Lawyer tries (but fails) to find a more thorough explanation that will justify his ‘good’ deeds and trick Teacher.
To help Lawyer with his limited perspective, Jesus tells the familiar story of The Good Samaritan: A man walking along a road is attacked and beaten by robbers. A priest and a Levite pass by–crossing over to the other side to avoid the bloodied, dying man. (We’ll address this in later posts.) Some scholars believe these two characters refused to help because the law prevented priests or Levites from ‘touching’ a dead person. They may also have been afraid of robbers using the ‘dead’ body as bait to lure more victims. Regardless of their rationale, self-preservation and fear of breaking a cultural law kept them from mercy.
The third traveler, a Samaritan–a member of the blended ethnic group, rejected and cursed by the Jews, viewed as an enemy and traitor–is the hero in this narrative. He chooses interruption over indifference, inconvenience over itinerary, and compassion over cultural norms. The Samaritan tends to the victim’s wounds, uses his own animal to carry the man to an inn, and pays for his stay and extended care.
In this passage, the Greek word for neighbor is plesion, meaning ‘outward nearness; whoever is physically close to us should be our concern.’ Jesus offered no other qualifiers for ‘neighbor’. Based on this text and its place in the broader frame of Scripture, ‘neighbor’ included everyone within reach. Followers of Jesus were to concern themselves with the poor, widows, orphans, prostitutes, tax collectors, those who were lame/mute/blind, those beyond the walls of their homes and beyond their own culture–like say, a beaten, bloodied man whose only connection to his ‘savior’ was a dusty road.
Lawyer’s questions seem more like excuses to avoid caring for those marked ‘okay to ignore’ by a culture steeped in religious tradition and ethnic superiority. When he finishes the story, Jesus asks Lawyer, “Which of these three do you think proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell into the robbers’ hands?” Unable to find any more excuses, Lawyer replies, “The one who showed mercy to him.” Teacher admonishes Lawyer to do likewise.
Jesus removed the limits on who *should* receive compassion and graciously told a story that dismantled the man-made barriers between ‘us’ and ‘them’. He proved that mercy crosses ethnic, religious, and racial lines. Mercy gives permission to break the rules, push cultural boundaries, and disrupt social constructs in order to ‘love your neighbor’.
And He used a ‘dirty’ outcast from Samaria as the example for Lawyer to follow.
So, who are your neighbors? Who exists in proximity to you? Who are you ignoring or avoiding and why? Is mercy leading you to connect with those who differ from you or are you bound by fear and self-preservation? What social constructs need dismantled in your own life?
I welcome your thoughts on this passage–and any stories you’d like to share on discovering your neighbor.
Next week, we’ll explore part 2 of this Love Your Neighbor series:
- Discover the neighbor in Luke 10:25-37
- Define ‘love’ in Luke 10:25-37.
- Determine our role as it relates to Luke 10:25-27.
Biblical text taken from Hebrew-Greek Key Word Study Bible, New American Standard Bible with Strong’s Dictionary and Concordance, c. 1990 by AMG International, Inc.
Featured image photo credit to Daniel Borup.
Kelly says
Hi Katie!!!
So this really hits on some things for me!
First, I love reading your articles. This one hits on several things and probably time I try to take another look at my current neighbors…. I have been known to take everyone in at our house. All the kids gravitate here. With that has come other issues. I had to call child services bc one little girl was always hungry and her mom was never home. I have felt bad but I know I intended well for the child. The other has a little girl who is 4 years older than my daughter and after a series of mistreatment we had to put abrupt boundaries on their relationship. So I did feel bad bc I have not spoken to the Mom since. So now after being so open I feel so lost! How do you love your neighbor completely if there are these other harmful factors? Is it okay to place boundaries? I hate to say the love is conditional but should it be? Thank you!!!
Kelly
Katie says
Hi Kelly!
Thank you for taking the time to read and respond. You ask some GREAT questions. I’m planning to go a bit deeper with this topic in the next 2 posts, so stay tuned. Until then, I have a few thoughts on your specific situation.
First, I think it is so fantastic that kids gravitate to your home. What that says to me is your home feels safe to them. You are present, reliable–someone they can trust. I am so sorry that you had to call CPS but it sounds like you were thinking of the child in need and not just responding as a tattletale. I would gently suggest that you reach out to her mom (sounds like you are thinking that way, too)–to help mend any brokenness and to remind her of your concern and support. Maybe send over some cookies with a card. Maybe invite her over for dessert or go on a walk or meet you somewhere neutral for coffee. What else might you be able to do to let her know that you care about her and her family?
“How do you love your neighbor completely if there are these other harmful factors?” GREAT question. In your specific case with an older girl mistreating your daughter in your own home, I would say that mercy and wisdom must work together. The Good Samaritan was tending to a helpless victim, barely alive. If he had taken that victim home to heal and that victim started to hurt his children, I suspect there would have been boundaries. So, yes, I think you are wise to have boundaries. In your case, mercy might mean your presence whenever this older girl is around your daughter. If she is blatant in her mistreatment, then I would suggest an immediate conversation when it happens. And then maybe a deeper conversation later with her and her parents, if possible. To continue to allow unhealthy behaviors in your home–and to have those behaviors aimed at and negatively affect (or permanently damage) your daughter–is not what the Gospel calls us to do. Your home is a safe place for others–it should be no less for your daughter. I would also maintain an open relationship with your daughter. I would talk through these issues with her, get her perspective, and while we are called to love our neighbors (and our enemies), we are not called to give them full permission to wound our children while we stand by and watch. That’s not love–that’s enabling sinful patterns in the lives of those we’re seeking to serve. If we want to lead our neighbors to freedom in Christ, allowing them to continue in sinful patterns (at the expense of our children in our home) is not an effective way to do that. Does that make sense?
Every opportunity to help and serve requires prayer and wisdom. Let mercy lead. And remember, Jesus had boundaries–He didn’t heal everyone and He took time away from the (needy) crowds to savor the presence of His Father. What I see in your life is a sincere desire to serve those within your reach. You have moved toward your neighbors, you’ve chosen mercy over favortism, and you’re learning some tough lessons along the way. Keep loving your neighbors without enabling, helping to meet their physical needs, identifying with their weaknesses–seeing your face in theirs. (Proverbs is chock-full of verses about caring for those in need.) To take this further, you may want to check in to local initiatives as a way to collaborate and begin to have conversations with folks in those beautiful spaces.
This is an incredibly layered topic and I appreciate your willingness to ask the hard questions. I don’t claim to be an expert but I’m in the trenches with you and learning some hard lessons, too. I hope to provide more clarity in the weeks ahead–and have a list of resources that may be of help to you.
Grace & peace, my friend.